World Economics Explained

This Post is Reblogged from Quintin Jardine’s Blog with Kind Permission.

Those of a sensitive disposition or have undergone a sense of humourotomy in the last 25 years, please do not read on


 

The World Economy Explained With The Aid Of Two Cows

 

SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more
.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.
A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you do not know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them
A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A GREEK CORPORATION You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. Your people need to eat eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you two cows. Your people eat both of them. The banks and the IMF
call to collect their cows/milk. You are out getting a haircut.
AN IRISH CORPORATION You have two cows One of them’s a horse!
And Last But Not Least
A SCOTTISH CORPORATION You have two cows that you think are valuable and worth a lot of money but your neighbour tells you they are past their best and definitely won’t last for very much longer.He even utilises experts to confirm all this.. This makes you sad, dejected and unable to perform to your full potential. Then unable to take the misery any more, you decide, as a last resort, to move somewhere else.and try something new. Lo and behold your new neighbour tells you your cows are very valuable and will provide milk for years and years.and years You are now a happy bunny once more
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One thought on “World Economics Explained

  1. South Africa got 2 cows president took one cow to mow the lawn at ancudla other cow ciral ramaposa took the other Cown and slaughtered it to celebrate for the nation. When the government had to account for it reapply was we never saw any cows!!

    Like

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